Six-Eyed Sand Spider Burying Herself (x)
NO that flop’n wiggle
this shit is how my phobia ended
Why are goosebumps called goosebumps
few people know this but there are actually tiny geese trapped under your skin. when you get cold they think it’s time to fly south for the winter so they try to break free and the bumps on your skin are their beaks trying to break through.
trust me. i am a goosologist. i study geese. my wife is a goose. we have three beautiful goose-human hybrid children. don’t judge our love.
i love the science side of tumblr
These are gold.
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
when you accidentally open your front camera
i am 41 cheetos tall
Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?
we were out of doritos
for months ive been collecting my fave of bizarre tumblr insults from famous posts in a note thingy on my phone omfg it cracks me up every time. there are truly some creative people here on tumblr.com
*tears out a page from a notepad labelled Prop Comedy Ideas and throws it towards a bin overflowing with paper*
this is the most horrifying photo i’ve ever seen
"can men and women really be just friends??" straight people are so weird
It is a fact that bisexuals can’t make friends. There is only prey.
*makes raptor noises*
Last Meals of Inmates on Death Row
Single black olive with a pit in it
Actually, I believe that’s a Greek Olive, due to its red coloring.
Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.
take your smileys from normal to unsettling in one easy step by putting just a little too much effort into the eyes